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Café / Re: Dead Duck
« Last post by Darryl on Today at 10:20:49 am »
An oldie but a goodie!  :)

And what about the platypus who asked the chemist for a tube of sunscreen?
"That will be $7.50", said the chemist.
The platypus replied "Just put it on my bill."
Café / Re: What I learned the past week
« Last post by JTL on Today at 09:11:40 am »
(All amounts quoted below in AUD)

The train journey starts from Sydney, stops at Perth, with Adelaide in between.  Duration: 4 days 3 nights.  The price is minimum 2819 per person.

Flying from Sydney to Adelaide -- minimum 66
Flying from Adelaid to Perth -- minimum106
Decent accomodation for 3 nights
(Per person, sharing with another person) -- about 300
Decent food for a person for 4 days -- 400
Total 872

That leaves you 1947 AUD to play with. You can take day trips, eat lobsters....
Café / Re: Dead Duck
« Last post by JTL on Today at 09:09:36 am »
I laughed louder the last time you posted this.   ;)
Café / Dead Duck
« Last post by admin on September 22, 2017, 08:58:24 pm »
It's a bit old but may have missed some of you...

A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
Café / Re: What I learned the past week
« Last post by Darryl on September 22, 2017, 01:21:35 pm »
True, JTL, but just consider what you get for the money. Compared to being cramped up in a jet for four hours, the 3-day platinum cabin service on the Indian Pacific is a wonderful holiday. They'll even serve you freshwater barramundi or kangaroo fillet steak.
Have a look at how they look after you here:
Language Questions / Re: since with simple-past main clause
« Last post by admin on September 22, 2017, 12:59:19 pm »
I agree - and as you say, Davide, it indicates that the project has finished.
Academic Discussion / What about Docear?
« Last post by ConnieNoto on September 22, 2017, 07:27:20 am »
Academic literature management

I need to prepare a seminar paper on academic literature management. I think Docear is the best solution for academic literature management. How to correct the error that access to the file is blocked? I think this is the better place to ask my doubt. I need to collect information about Docear. Also i want to research about academic writing management.  If you have any suggestion except Docear please let me know.

Commercial link removed. Please refrain from disguising advertising as questions. Britta
Academic Discussion / Re: What are the best academic citation tool?
« Last post by Mr Tasker on September 22, 2017, 05:09:37 am »
Well, essay writing service uk doesn't inspire much confidence if the above post is an indication of the quality of their work. :-\

Yes, I'd take quality over compliance any day.

In fact I'd make sure maximum quality.
Café / Re: What I learned the past week
« Last post by JTL on September 22, 2017, 03:28:54 am »
The Australian train journeys sound interesting, but it is more expensive than taking flights.

Language Questions / Re: since with simple-past main clause
« Last post by Darryl on September 21, 2017, 10:06:15 am »
I think either since or from would work there.
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